With an open body and soul, she closed her eyes and allowed the music to inhabit and animate her.
Oblivious to any onlookers, she moved with a sensual, raw and passionately primal rhythm.
Her arms snaked through the air, as her curls slithered and danced across her shoulders.
Her writhing body was an invitation… not sexually but sensually…and mesmerizingly so.
He… walks into a room, flashes a smile and saunters with a swagger that is almost supernatural.
His words are a mixture of poetry, art and intention.
Women and men want to be near him. His presence is palpable…its pull is magnetic.
What do these people have in common?
An unspoken but well communicated sense of and display of authority.
They have confidence…they exemplify the power of harnessing sexual energy and communicating within that.
Raw sensuality and passion translated into body language and intention is captivating.
Look at any lingerie catalog targeted at women and you will find that the sultry stares and poses are hard to ignore.
Living in Florida, these images are a part of the culture. Billboards abound with beautiful people on massive canvases, designed to get our attention and make a statement.
Is it Just a Case of “Sex Sells”?
Is it sex or is it the confidence that accompanies the mindset of feeling comfortable in your own skin and projecting that feeling out into the world?
Going back to the two in my earlier examples, they have another thing in common.
They are both beautifully imperfect and comfortable in their own skin.
In his best seller, Think and Grow Rich, author Napoleon Hill talks about the concept of sexual transmutation.
“When harnessed, and redirected along other lines, this motivating force maintains all of its attributes of keenness of imagination, courage, etc., which may be used as powerful creative forces in literature, art, or in any other profession or calling, including, of course, the accumulation of riches”.
That’s what sells. Not necessarily sex, but the elements of sexuality and sensuality that accompany them.
What Are We Buying…a Product or a Feeling?
When I look at a catalog or shop online, the women staring back at me are exuding a confidence that is appealing.
As consumers, if we buy the lingerie, the fragrance, the outfit, the car, then we (subconsciously and vicariously) may experience what is being portrayed and projected in the ads.
An excellent example is Dos Equis. This brand is known for 2 things…their beer and their commercial, “The Most Interesting Man in the World.”
What made this man so interesting (besides his beverage of choice) was his confidence, charm and magnetism.
He appealed to both men and women.
Just as Napoleon Hill surmised regarding sexuality, “When harnessed, and redirected along other lines, this motivating force maintains all of its attributes of keenness of imagination, courage, etc.”
Confidence is sexy.
A lot of people would say ‘sexy’ is about the body. But to me, ‘sexy’ is a woman with confidence. I admire women who have very little fear.
Allegra Versace. Heiress. Anorexia survivor.
Confidence Can Be Elusive
True confidence can be elusive. Even those that exude it may still possess insecurities.
The difference between them and everyone else is that while they may possess the insecurities, the insecurities don’t posses them. That is an important point to note.
When I was overweight (and overwhelmed) my self-esteem was at an all-time low. My confidence did not exist.
Jealousy existed. Envy existed. Anger, bitterness and self-loathing existed…but not confidence.
My thoughts resided firmly in the land of “If/Then”.
- If I lost weight, then…
- If I could wear a smaller size, then…
- If I had her body, then…
- If I didn’t eat so much, then…
- If I bought this/that, then….
All of those things were outside of me. I hadn’t heard of mindset. I didn’t know that our inner life projected itself outwardly… in how we show up, how we receive the world around us and even in how we make choices.
Self love/esteem/acceptance/worth are an inside job. My inside was ransacked.
Eventually, all of my “ifs” came true. Then, I found that I was still unhappy, jealous, envious and angry.
What?!…. Why?!… How?!
Life was supposed to be different. I was supposed to feel different.
I never worked on my thought process. My mindset was still the same. I was still the same.
Even with the weight loss and the compliments, my eyes only saw my body through the filter of my thoughts.
Thoughts that I wasn’t consciously aware of and didn’t know existed.
Thoughts that silently and maliciously undermined almost every aspect of my life.
Mindset, Health and Fitness
The journey to becoming mentally and emotionally healthy was an arduous one. It was a rollercoaster of emotions, missteps and setbacks.
It is part of what has shaped me as a trainer and the reason that I obtained my certification to coach.
I saw, firsthand, that health is mental, emotional and spiritual…not just physical. I saw the human body as a whole…greater than the sum total of its parts.
I saw myself beyond the mirror.
I also saw that my clients weren’t just seeking exercise. Even if they couldn’t quite put it into words.
They wanted something more. They wanted self-acceptance, self-validation, self-confidence.
Originally published at charbdollfitness.com.