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Char Aukland Whole Story Health Coaching

When we remove ourselves from a toxic situation, it should be for self-preservation -not punishing the other person. So, before you initiate the No Contact Rule, make sure that you’re doing it for the right reasons.

For me, no contact was necessary to detox my mind and spirit. Though we often focus on physical detoxing, mental and emotional detox is just as important. Over the years , this is a lesson that I repeated until I finally learned it.

My friendships and relationships had a common thread — pretty poison. The people seemed pleasant and appealing on the outside but had toxic effects on my thoughts, emotions and peace. To save my sanity and sense of self, I had to act.

The Process of No Contact

Because of its importance and difficulty, no contact is not something we enter into lightly…


One of my earliest memories of hearing that verse involved me wondering why Jesus would ask that question. Of course, the man wanted healing! Who wouldn’t want to be whole?

I had no idea that life would teach me the answer to that question — in ways I never could have expected.

Lying in Our Beds

There is an old saying, “You have made your bed, now lie in it.”

I think of that phrase when I picture this man walking away from circumstances that held him captive for so long.

Sadly, so many of us have beds made with sheets of poor choices…


Personal failures, over the years, have shown me how hard weight loss issues are to overcome.

With an overweight father and a weight conscious mother, the topic and struggle of weight loss have always been a part of my life.

Actually, I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t aware of my love of food…eating habits… and my weight.

Once high school started, weight was almost all I could think about. If only I could go back and talk to my younger self…

Although there are many lessons I’ve learned, below are some truths I wish I had known about weight loss before I got started on any of my previous attempts.

Despite having successfully kept…


My personal social media detox path started when I began the process of decluttering my home. As I rummaged throughout various rooms and closets, throwing out what no longer served me felt symbolic.

Differentiating trash from treasure, in my home, created a need to carry out the same process in other areas of my life. After feeling as if a burden were being lifted, I thought it would be a good time to also declutter my mind.

Unbeknownst to me, I had been moving toward this process for a couple of months.

I actually started, weeks earlier, with a diet…


With so much talk about needing to detox our bodies from our physical consumption, it felt like time to start thinking about detoxing my mind from my mental consumption.

My decision to rid myself of mental toxins came when I began the process of decluttering my home. As I rummaged throughout rooms and closets, throwing out what no longer served me felt symbolic.

Feeling as if a burden were being lifted, I thought it would be a good time to also declutter my mind.

Differentiating trash from treasure, in my living space, created a need to carry out the same…


You want so badly to be liked, accepted and loved… you become what others want to see not understanding that you have such a special light.

Your heart wants to do what is right and beautiful…there will always be people who want you to be someone else…. those are not your people….

— Diary Entry

“But what if they don’t like me?”

Though typically a saying attributed to kids on their first day of a new school, wanting to be liked is a very real issue for adults as well.

An anxiety producing and sometimes subconscious fear of not being accepted or, more truthfully, acceptable can cause…


Recently, there has been a media resurgence of the body positivity debate. For some, accepting ourselves for the way we are has become a mantra and a war cry. For others, it sparks anger and brings out a painful and toxic viciousness.

The sad reality is that fat shaming and body shaming have taken an unfortunate turn and have had detrimental effects on our bodies, minds and conversations alike.

As a society, not only are we ashamed of our bodies, but we are ashamed to admit being ashamed.

At my highest weight, I wasn’t able to “accept myself” the way I was. With my genetic history and deteriorating health, self-acceptance and continuing with the habits that were putting me there would have led me to an early grave.

Unfortunately, health seems to have taken a backseat to appearance, combined with the flawed…


“I can’t be that person anymore”, I said out loud, in response to what I was thinking.

I can’t keep living in wounds. I can’t keep being who I am not, just to help other people be comfortable with me. I can’t keep up the façade.

I have always wanted to be acceptable to (and accepted by) those that I love, which has led to me altering or disregarding my own needs.

It felt like such a random thought. I didn’t know that it would change my life.

Have you ever just felt different, but couldn’t quite put your finger on it? You knew something had changed…but not what, exactly.

The day I had the realization that…


I spent years silently judging other people, being a captive audience to my own internal judgements , and sharing my unsolicited “opinions” of other people’s choices.

My (almost) incessant preoccupation with thinking about (and pointing out) how others were not living up to my standards, allowed me to feel superior and self-righteous. Now, I am finally able to see my judgements for what they were…reflections of who I was. Ouch.

Judge and Jury

On any given day, my wandering thoughts would eventually devolve into questions like:

· Why is she wearing that?

· Why does he talk like that?

· Why would they…

Char Aukland Whole Story Health Coaching

Char Aukland is a Certified Personal Trainer, Certified Health Coach, Certified Nutrition Coach and former Certified Occupational Therapy Assistant

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